Pick me ups. On demand.
Want more?
Wouldn't it be great if a hug in a mug really did exist? I'm not suggesting that I want, or even remotely like, Batchelor's cup-a-soup, but it would be genuinely pleasing if there was a large fluffy monster on speed dial to call whenever you needed a pick me up, of the emotional sort. Sometimes, a diet coke does the job, other times only regular, full fat coke really hits the spot. When its human attention I crave, a chat with a close girl friend usually leaves me laughing. When its human attention I loathe, I usually find solace at the bottom of a pint of Ben & Jerry's. But don't you notice that pick me ups always require an active implementation of some kind? When you're feeling blue, wouldn't it be considerably easier if you could wish a bar of Dairy Milk into your hand and telepathically prompt the T.V. to turn on Sleepless in Seattle? Wouldn't it be blissful if you could snap your fingers and be lying in a steamy, hot bath courtesy of Neom's organic bath oils? It is suggested that pets are therapeutic and increase overall well-being, well if thats true, why are they not given out free on the NHS?
I've decided that what I need is a furry friend of some kind, perhaps a Rufus or a Cattykins. Alternitavely, I'll just go to Sainsburys, pick up a cup-a-soup and wait for my hug in a mug to kick in. If it doesn't, I'll sue on the grounds of false advertising.
No comments:
Post a Comment